Phoebe's Life in Jeopardy
by Celia Ray
Summary: (By Rossrachmonchan and Celia Ray. )The gang is in Vegas for a five year reunion, why can't Phoebe make it? tragedy and comedy happens, where's Mike? and what's wrong with Pheebs?
1. Chapter 1

Ross's POV 

"Hey, Rach?" I say.

"What Ross?" she says back.

"Do you have the tickets?"

"Yes, Ross, I do."

"This is so weird. Do you believe it has been five years since we've seen Phoebe and Joey?"

"I know." She says.

"I heard Phoebe, uh, she finished high school, now she's in college."

"That's amazing."

"You're amazing." I say and kiss Rachel lightly on the lips.

From Emma and Danielle's bedroom I hear yelling;

"Mommy and Daddy were on a break!" Emma yells.

Ross and Rachel were both very surprised to have heard Emma, their daughter shout that statement from the past, one they both decided to forget and never say again to one another, they had to do something, fast, they also wondered where Emma had learned that line.

"No, they weren't." Danielle retorts.

"Yes they were."

"Do you want me to take this?" I ask.

"No, Ross I can do it,"

"I want to do it."

"I really, really want to do it, Ross."

"Let's both do it."

Ross and Rachel were again very surprised that Emma, the girl thought they were on a break and Danielle, their son thought they weren't. This is argument that had never come up before and the kids were part of the issue now, I guess, Ross and Rachel were confused and I bit worried, but needed to sort this out as soon as possible so they could go and see Joey and phoebe.

We go into the girl's bedroom and Rachel grabs Danielle and I grab Emma,

"We were on a break," I tell Danielle.

"No, Danielle, you were right, Daddy and I…" she gives me a menacing look, "Were not on a break."

"We were on a break." I enforce.

"We were not on a break." Rachel says, "Is that clear?"

"Yes Mommy," Danielle and Emma say in unison.

"Good. No more fighting."

This was a topic that Ross and Rachel still argued over sometimes, even thought they made an agreement that they were in fact "were not on a break" and they made that clear, the children now knew about their parents and families past and knew that they had to

Make things clear for their children to understand, so the family wouldn't end up ripped apart and Ross and Rachel divorced.

We walk out of the bedroom. Rachel goes into the kitchen and I follow her. I hear Emma whisper to Danielle;

"We have the weirdest parents."

Rachel is preparing a mixture when I go up and put my head on her shoulder and kiss it.

"We were."

"Ross!"

I grin sweetly;

"You mean the Ross-a-tron?"

"Ross-a-tron, do you really want to get into the break thing right now?"

"No."

"Good choice."

Rachel was kind of upset that Ross would think that they were still on "a break", but she couldn't let it bother her that much, because she had to stay a "happy family" and she loved Ross, so much, nothing could ever change that.

I look at the English triffle that Rachel is making, just the very thought of it makes me want to hurl.

"Are you really making that, Rach? It kind of tastes like feet."

"Stop it."

"I'm sorry."

Ross remembered that a few years back Rachel had made the dessert for thanksgiving dinner, and she said "come on you guys, I can cook, if it says boil 2 cups of salt, you just boil 2 cups of salt" and then she ended up putting beef in the triffle. Ross knew not to mess with that fact very much, cause it would make her mad.

"What time is our flight?"

"5:00 am tomorrow morning."

"Why didn't we get a later flight?"

Ross new Rachel wasn't EVER a morning person, but they had no choice what other time they could get for a flight, it was booked and final.

"All the other flights were booked."

"This is Chicago, we couldn't get another flight out to Vegas?" she furrows her brow and flings a bit of batter across the room.

"Why didn't we book a flight to Nebraska?"

"Because the reunion is in Vegas."

"Like you know, change flights in Nebraska."

"Oh, see, you weren't really clear on that."

"Come on Rach, aren't you excited."

"Ross, of course I am, I haven't seen Monica and Chandler since they visited when Danielle was born, and Phoebe wow, not since we left New York. And Joey, I haven't seen him for five years either,"

"I know."

Ross was kind of nervous to see the gang again cause they hadn't in so long but Monica, his sister was there too and she was the one who REALLY kept the gang together, Ross knew Rachel was also kind of nervous to see the WHOLE gang also

"I'm all packed, that makes me happy."

I touch her shoulder, and look into her beautiful pale blue eyes,

"All six of your suitcases."

"Yeah."

Rachel was always a very, very heavey packer and she never seemed to take less then 6 suitcases, ross knew that because over the years they had gone many places to gether, ross thought Rachel is always going to be 'rachel"

An hour later as Rachel takes her disgusting English "feet" truffle out of the oven, I go over to the little coffee table we set up with all our old photographs;

There is one of Danielle's fourth birthday;

She is dressed in a pale pink dress, and wearing some of Rachel's lipstick, her dark brown hair is pulled away from her bright blue eyes that resembles Rachel's, she has on a pink party hat with dinosaurs on it (yay dinosaurs!) and is holding up four fingers.

I love this picture but it is not my favorite one.

My eyes immediately go to a picture of Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, Rachel, Gunther and I; it is taken the night Monica and Chandler moved out of the apartment;

Rachel has her arm around Phoebe, I have my head on Rachel's lap, Monica is on Chandler's lap and Joey is making bunny ears on Phoebe. We are all beaming with fake overwhelming joy. Just as I get lost in the moment with this picture, Rachel turns the radio on; Diana Ross's song _Ain't No Mountain High Enough. _Is playing.

_If you need me, call me...No matter where you are, no matter how far...Just call my name. I'll be there in a hurry. On that, you can depend and never worry._

(No wind) No wind  
(No rain) No rain  
Nor winter's cold  
Can stop me, babe, oh babe, (baby) baby  
If you're my goal, oh

(No wind) No wind  
(No rain) No rain  
Can stop me, babe  
If you're my goal

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh  
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh  
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

SPOKEN:  
I know, I know you must follow the sun wherever it leads. But remember: if you should fall short of your desires, remember life holds for you one guarantee: you'll always have me. And if you should miss my love one of these old days, if you should ever miss the arms that used to hold you so close or the lips that used to touch yours so tenderly, just remember what I told you the day I set you free...

"Rach?" I say.

"Yeah."

"Did you ever think this was true about the six of us?"

"Yeah, Ross, I did, I really did."

"Do you think things will be the same between the six of us?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think so."

"Ross, just stop worrying and eat your truffle. Girls dinner is ready"

And I sit down and realize that I am being fated to eat my wife's truffle, that tastes like feet. The only weird thing about it is Rachel enjoys it, and my daughters do too.

Ross tampered with the triffle "joke' a little more and knew it was time to stop, and actually eat the surprisingly good triffle, Ross knew Rachel was very wise and knew when to top worrying, well at most of the times, they ate and fed the girls

The next day at the North West terminal Rachel and I are grumpy and tired, but the girls are so excited.

"What does Aunt Phoebe look like?" Danielle asks.

"Blonde, tall…"

"Is she pretty?" Danielle says.

"I think so." Rachel says, and smiles.

Emma looks up from her Laura Ingalls Wilder book,

"Mommy, tell me the story of how you and Daddy were on a break."

"Okay," she starts, "I got mad at Daddy because we thought I had crush on this co-worker Mark, and I was spending a lot of time at work…" my cell phone rings and I pick it up;

"Hello,"

"Hey, Ross?"

"Hey,"

"This is Regina Philange, I just wanted to say that Phoebe Buffay will not be attending the reunion, so she says say hi to Mon and Chan, and Rachel and Joey,"

"Why?" I ask.

"Because her flight is going to be seven hours late."

"How does Miss Buffay know this, my caller i.d. says she is calling from her home, she is not even at airport yet, so there for she would not know her flight is delayed,"

"Oh, well, she's magic,"

"So tell me Regina, is Miss Buffay okay?"

There is a pause.

"No," she says.

I hang up the phone and then I realize I'm not thinking straight anymore.

Rachel and Ross were left there in the plane with their 2 girls, VERY confused and worried, why couldn't phoebe be with the gang that day? They needed to find out, but couldn't do anything yet!

Author's note: PLEASE REVIEW! Sorry it was so long.


	2. Mothers and Friends

"What was that?" Rachel asks.

Rachel was confused more then Ross, but Ross was also confused. Rachel didn't yet know what Ross had heard or thought. Ross was confused because of the conversation and Rachel was confused having never heard the conversation

"Phoebe's not coming." Ross says softly.

"Oh, no. Why?"

Now Rachel was confused, more then ever and upset, mad and sad, she hadn't seen phoebe, in well so long, that now she wanted to know why phoebe wasn't going to be in Vegas, was the rest of the gang going to be there?

"I don't know,"

Ross didn't know what else to say, the truth was he didn't know why phoebe was like that on the phone and he didn't know why he wasn't coming, Ross could see in Rachel's eyes that she wanted to know what was going on and was going to ask a lot of questions. Rachel thought, "I want to know, and I need a better answer, then what Ross gave me"

"You talked to her?"

"I talked to Regina Philange,"

Rachel was getting frustrated, why would phoebe say she was Regina Philange? Rachel wanted to know the truth, did Ross talk to phoebe or what, Ross wasn't giving Rachel much good information at all, Rachel spoke clearly, and after she said what she wanted to saw she waited for Ross to reply

"You talked to Phoebe." she asks.

"I have known Phoebe for so long, that whenever Phoebe lies about her name, it is always Regina Phalange."

"Okay" she says. Rachel decided to believe what Ross was saying and trust him, like she always tried to, Rachel wondered why phoebe would lie about her name and say she was Regina Phalange to Ross. Was phoebe okay?

"Is Phoebe okay?" she asks.

"She said 'no'."

Rachel was now panicking in her mind, and thought "What do you mean she said no!" is she just saying Regina Phalange is not okay, or is she saying PHOEBE IS NOT OKAY? Rachel knew that answer, phoebe was not okay! Oh my god! She thought, she responded the only way she could

"Oh my god, oh my god, Ross…"

"Rachel, I'll call her on the airplane, we'll see what's wrong."

"Ross, can I do that?"

She asked, looking away from him, over at my children, who are telling stories about Ross and her, to complete strangers, as if they're trying to damage our reputation with everyone in Gate 7, and Gate 8. Rachel wanted to call phoebe cause, obviously last time he called her he didn't do very good job, Rachel wanted to her all of this right from PHOEBE'S mouth and try to sort things out right away.

"Mommy and Daddy were drunk when they conceived me." Emma says, almost proud.

Emma, Ross and Rachel's first child only knew bits and pieces of somewhat false and wrong information from, well I would just Joey, and Emma was telling all of this to COMPLETE STRANGERS again, and different people then the last time it was like she was telling everybody, Rachel had to do something

"Emma!" Rachel says forcedly and goes and grabs her shoulder.

Ross looks at Danielle being a good child, and his eyes shine with pure parental pride.

Ross was, well at the moment very happy with Danielle and was very upset with Emma, but let Rachel deal with it on her own. Rachel was very mad and embarrassed at the fact that Emma would say that to people she didn't even know, even thought she would never see these people again, it was still a big deal and a bad thing to be spreading.

On the airplane, Emma and Danielle sit in on row 24 A and B, and Ross and I sit in 24 C and D. I realize that Emma has snuck a copy of Cosmo into her suitcase and is now reading it. Danielle is reading Snow White for the three hundredth time. Rachel had, she went over to Emma and Danielle's chairs, to do something about their HORRIBLE behavior.

" Emma, Danielle, please meet me in the washroom, NOW!"

I seems that Rachel might be yelling, but she is yelling in a whisper with a firm strong voice because she is mad, Emma whines in a reply.

"But mommy, why?"

"Cause I said so, now March!"

"Fine"

Danielle just followed Rachel and Emma and didn't make a fuss about it, you could say she was a "good little girl' and did what she was always told, which was not a bad thing in the "Gellar family'. Rachel, Emma and Danielle reached the bathroom, opened the door, and all went in, Rachel started to lecture.

"You two what are you doing? You don't tell personal things to strangers, especially when you don't give all the information and talk about things you don't understand, especially about me and daddy, do I make myself clear?"

Emma and Danielle replied in unison "okay, sorry mommy"

All three of them headed back to their seats in silence and Rachel did not see Emma or Danielle talk about anything to anyone, which is what she wanted, Emma went back to reading COSMO and Danielle reading snow white, Rachel would talk to Emma about COSMO later.

Now that Ross and I have two children, we barely have time to just talk. The world does not center a round US anymore. Our once simple New York City life with our five friends has changed. We now live apart from our friends, in Chicago, and our days are now punctuated by baths, bedtime stories, breaking up fights, and tucking in the girls. This is one rare moment we have together, just the two of us.

"I wonder what's up with Phoebe?" Rachel says.

"I don't know, Rach…" he hands her his cell phone, which the Field History Museum that he works at, pays for.

"I don't want to call her, Ross." she says flatly.

"Why?"

"I'm scared."

"You want me to do it."

Rachel wondered why she was so scared, wait she knew the answer, its cause what if there was a real Regina Phalange, or what if someone was pretending to be phoebe, or a kidnapper was making phoebe be Regina phalange and say all those things? Rachel was terrified, she couldn't wait to find out what Ross heard and knew

She laid her head down on Ross's shoulder, thinking about phoebe and what was going to happen next, Rachel then decided she was the one who was going to talk to phoebe this time.

"I think I ought to hear whatever it is straight out from her."

"Okay,"

"Give me the phone." she ays.

As she clicks the redial button on Ross's cell phone, she looks out the window, at the runway. The phone rings, and rings and rings and someone picks up;

"Hello," she says.

"Hey, Phoebe?

"Yes, who is this?"

Phoebe was kind of blonde in this moment Rachel thought when she picked up the phone and said phoebe? She said yes Rachel was so happy that it was phoebe; Rachel was now nervous and anxious to what phoebe would say next

"Rachel…"

"This is Regina Phalange…"

"Phoebe, I know it's you, why aren't you coming?"

"Um, they're doing a demo of _Smelly Cat. _"

"Oh that's great! Are they using your real voice this time?"

"Maybe."

"That's not the reason you're not coming?"

"Rachel, stay out of this."

Rachel couldn't believe that Phoebe would be so rude, and why was she being so distant and weird, why wasn't she coming to Vegas and not wanting to talk to anymore, then, it takes me a second to notice it; that one of my once best friends hung up on me.

An hour later, we are still on the ground because of mechanical problems on the plane and the children are stir crazy, and I am in the mood for a few bottles of vodka and wine; just to keep my mind of Phoebe.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

"Ross, it's like Phoebe's become some kind of untouchable…"

"Phoebe has always been kind of a question mark," he says as if that would make me feel better;

Ross remembered about 10 years back when Ross and Joey brought back a porno movie that phoebe was in, that was actually Ursula, her twin sister, Rachel said

"Man you know you think you know someone, even Phoebe who's been somewhat of a question mark?"

"Yeah"

Rachel said this distantly while looking out the window waiting for the plane to finally hit ground, they finally got out of the plane and made their way to the hotel

It has been one full day since we've been in Vegas; the others aren't coming until the next day, I try to focus on seeing Joey, Chandler and Monica; and even when she gave it all her effort not to, she was thinking Phoebe;

It was because of her that Rachel got off the plane; without her, there would be no Ross and Rachel and no Danielle Anna; she is the reason Rachel has her family.

Rachel tried to remember everything about her, but it is impossible. Ross and I try not to talk about her, but Emma and Danielle want to know everything about Aunt Phoebe; so we tell them.

And that night, at the fountain outside of the hotel where we sat; as if we'd conjured her through our words and mental images; standing there, was Phoebe.

Author's note: Phoebe's situation will be further described in later chapters; PLEASE REVIEW, they make Celia Ray and rossrachmonchan's day!


	3. Out Of Sight

"I hate driving" Monica thinks, "The pure thought of driving from New York City to Las Vegas makes me nauseous and it was all Chandler's idea. Why do we have to drive such a long distance, why didn't we fly like, Joey, phoebe, Ross and Rachel and all the kids? I can't believe Joey drove all the way from new York city to Vegas a few years back, its so boring and the roads are horrible and suck, I hate chandler right now"

"Remind me to ground you when we get to Vegas." Monica says to Chandler, being totally serious but my voice is full of love too.

" Oooh, Daddy is going to get grounded." Says Jack.

Monica remembered a few years back when Rachel's sister Amy came for thanksgiving and Monica and chandler were talking about parenthood and kids and Monica argued "could you image me saying go to room your grounded" and chandler said "you said that to me last week" and Monica yelled "how hard is it no shoes on the furniture" and of course Chandler told Jack, their little boy the whole story.

Monica looks at my children with great pride. Erica, blonde with fly away curls and an open toothed smile; although she is only seven she is brilliant; I can see my daughter coming up with a cure for the common cold; or maybe AIDS. Her son Jack has brown hair and his sister's blue eyes; he is the one she sees writing the great American Novel, or a great symphony, or maybe being a famous piano player.

"Oh, Monica, isn't this gorgeous?" chandler commented

"It's a lot more beautiful if you haven't been driving for two days."

While chandler was enjoying the scenery by looking out the faintly tinted windows, Monica was stuck driving their Porsche, Monica was tired, stressed and annoyed, soon chandler would have to drive so Monica could get some rest.

"Oh, Mon, cute guy alert."

"Chandler." she scoffs.

Monica's hands were now raw from holding on to the steering wheel for so many hours, when suddenly her cell phone rings, chandler takes the steering wheel while Monica digs her phone out of her purse and talks, it was her mom and she did not sound happy.

"Hey, Monica…" she says.

"Hey, Mom."

"So who's your current boyfriend?"

Monica mother was not involved in much of her life, she didn't even really care about her and forgot about her and her relationships, especially the one she had been in for almost 12 years, Monica had to remind her mother constantly about chandler the love of her life.

"Actually, Mom I'm married to Chandler."

"Oh yeah, that's right."

"Do you have something specific to say?"

Monica was very tired and was kind of uncomfortable with chandler driving the from the passengers seat, reaching over to the steeling wheel while Monica was talking on a cell phone, so Monica actually wanted to ask if her mother called to say anything worth while, that was not just to make her feel insulted or low.

"Yeah, I saw Phoebe."

"Oh."

Now Monica was interested, what about phoebe? Why would phoebe talk to her mom? She wanted to know, all Monica knew was she was doing a demo for **Smelly Cat**and that's it, she waited for her moms response.

"She's sick, AIDS, or cancer."

"Sick? She said she was doing a demo for _Smelly Cat. _That's why she is not coming "

"Well, she and Mike split up; and she looks really bad; she said whatever treatments she was required to take stopped her from playing the guitar."

"What do you mean, Mom?"

"Her fingers just don't move the way they used to."

And it is there that my cell phone runs out of batteries;

"And I thought the worst thing in life was a messy kitchen." I say.

Monica was now very worried, her cell had run out of batteries, phoebe was sick with a horrible disease -according to her mom, she wouldn't see phoebe in Vegas, phoebe can't play guitar and that is all Monica knew, she had to get in touch with someone, but who? Luckily chandler had his cell phone with him, so she could call Rachel and Ross and the kids.

"What's wrong Mon?" Chandler asks.

"Are you ever afraid if you let someone out of your sight for one second, you'll lose them forever?"

"No."

"Well, I think we're going to lose Phoebe.

"Oh my god. How?"

Chandler was now not paying attention on the road, because he was confused, worried and pretty much out of his soul, what was wrong with phoebe again? Did he hear clearly? Did Monica's mom have all the true information, Monica and chandler rammed into the side ditch and pretty much ruined their vehicle, they were busted.

"BLASTED CHANDLER! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO!"

"I kind of drove into a ditch." he says.

"I can see that."

"Oooh, Mommy's mad." says Erica.

"Reow!" says Jack.

Now that Monica and Chandler and the children, for that matter were in the side of a country road, and they finished their conversation before they did anything, Monica spoke even thought she and chandler were both out of breathe

"My mom said she's really sick."

"With what?"

"My mom said AIDS or cancer, or something"

Chandler is silent chandler was now worried, even though out of the whole group Chandler was least close with Phoebe, Phoebe was part of the group and a BEST friend, what were they going to do?

"I think I'm going to call Rachel and Ross now"

"Good idea. And we always thought Phoebe would be the first to leave the group." He says

"I want her to stay. I want her to come to Vegas."

"I know, Mon. I know."

Monica rings up phoebe, using chandler's cell phone cause his has fully charged batteries, Ross answers the phone

"Hello"

"Hey Ross, its Monica, have you heard about Phoebe?"

"Not much"

"Well mom called and she is sick, so we all have to go back to NYC and plus Monica and I crashed and are going to call a tow truck and a cab"

"Oh my god! Okay we'll be at Phoebe's, soon, bye Mon

"Bye"

Monica hung up, this was definitely a road trip and it was a MIS adventure, they called a cab and a tow truck and would be in NYC in 5 days, cause of slow, expensive cabs, plus Ross and Rachel would be at phoebes in a day, because of the plane, chandler spoke and was kind of firm and upset, because they gang hadn't been together in years, phoebe was ruining it.

"She's ashamed of what ever is wrong with her. That's why she is not coming."

"I say everything is going to be okay; until I start to believe it."

Everyone please review and in your reviews, you can put comments, suggestions and details, we will really use them and we will TRY our best to put everyone's suggestions in the chapters and make everyone happy


	4. Beautiful

Rachel's POV –in Vegas two hours later after greeting Phoebe 

We stare at the ugliest paintings; the most gruesome paintings I have ever seen; and Phoebe sits there and marvels over the beauty of these paintings;

There are pictures of wars, and of hunger, people so hungry they are eating each other; and Phoebe cannot help but marvel at the beauty of these paintings;

"Phoebe, they're not pretty." I say.

"Says who? They represent all the pain and suffering in this world."

"They're old and ugly." I enforce; "They hurt my eyes to look at. I don't know how you can appreciate them."

Phoebe now knew that if Rachel thought the paintings were ugly, she would think phoebe would be ugly after treatment, treatment for her diese that she was not yet ready to share with them.

"So when we all get old and ugly, do people stop appreciating us?"

I now realize what Phoebe means; the years have not treated her well. She has puffs under her eyes, and lines around her mouth; her hair, once long blonde and beautiful, is short and thin and held back from her green eyes with small sunflower clips;

"No, Phoebe…" I say, as I reach out and grab her shoulder; "That's not what I meant."

I now feel very bad for what she had said, I really didn't mean it that way, I realized after looking at phoebe for a long whole, she isn't the same, high sprung person, she something wrong with her?

"It is kind of true; when a woman hits a certain age in Hollywood, her career is over."

I now have to convince phoebe that she didn't need looks to be loved by people; by the world I am going to try my best

"Phoebe, you look good."

"No. Don't lie to me. I got ugly."

"We all have different opinions of what is beautiful."

"Isn't that the truth…" she says back.

Then Ross, Rachel and phoebe sit down on the couch while phoebes tells the WHOLE story about what exactly is going on, and how she feels.

**5 months earlier**

Phoebe woke up in the morning, remembering that her and Mike were trying to conceive a child again, because they were having troubles just like Monica and chandler. She rolled over and saw mike lying next to her, she had fond memories of the night before, she suddenly felt her stomach turn, and she ran to the washroom a little dizzy. She closed the door and leaned over the toilet and threw up (white stuff) "yeah! I am having a baby, I have morning sickness!" she whispered to her self, she then cleaned her self up and ran out back in to the bedroom, jumped on the bed and ripped the covers off mike.

"Awe my eye, the light! Phoebe, what!" he laughed as he started hitting her with a pillow "okay phoebe what was this really for?"

"I think I'm pregnant"

"Really! Oh my god! We have to go to the doctor now to be 100 sure"

AWHILE LATER AT THE DOCTOR WITH MIKE 

"Mike, do you really think we finally did it? Do you really think we're going to have a baby!" tears of joy gleamed in her eyes and she was beaming.

"I really think we did sweetheart." Mike squeezed Phoebe's hand. It gave Phoebe a sense of security.

_I'm going to have a baby; I'm going to be a mommy. _Phoebe had wanted this ever since she had her brother's triplets. There was something wonderful about having a family, something she had not had since she was very young.

The pregnancy test had come out negative, but there was still hope; the doctor had wanted to do more tests on her, and she agreed willingly. The doctor had shown no fear; he had even lied to her.

Phoebe lifted herself up to the paper-covered table at the doctor's office, and the doctor put a large X-ray of Phoebe's diaphragm on the light board. _That's me, _Phoebe thought. There was a large dark spot.

"Oh my god!" Phoebe said, "That's not normal! That's not a baby!"

"Miss Hannigan, that's cancer." The doctor said.

Mike let go of her hand. _What sort of higher power let me get cancer? The same power that is responsible for everything wonderful. _And the wedding ring Phoebe had slipped off her finger, fell off the table and the doctor accidentally kicked it with the sole of his, let it roll under the table.

The doctor's words became invisible to Phoebe;

"…Chemotherapy…radiation…stage 3 Ewing sarcoma, 60 chance for survival."

Phoebe said as she left the doctor's office;

"At least I know."

Mike looked at her; "What?"

"If I die, at least I know where I'm going."

END OF FLASHBACK 

"Oh, Pheebs…" I say, and pet her hair, and she draws away. It takes me this long to realize things aren't the same; we _have _grown apart. I mean we have grown apart.

I remember the time when I was feeling down and Pheebs patted my head to make me feel better and said

"Awe pheebs" "Pheebs, that's your name" I responded a tad bit confused, and she said all happy and blonde "Oh that's short for Phoebe, I thought that's just what we called each other!" I remember that moment as if it were yesterday, now I felt even sadder, and more depressed.

"How many of you think someone who has a cancerous tumor in their brain is beautiful?"

"Is this a trick question," I ask, not realizing the reality of what she is trying to say.

"Phoebe?" Ross said, staring at her.

"Yeah, uh-huh, December 3 rd 2005, five days before I predicted that I would conceive my first child…I became an official cancer patient…" she says, as she walks to the window and stares at the stars twinkling, as if they were dancing into forever; only to die unexpectedly…

"Now, there's something that is truly beautiful about these stars. I think my Mom is one of them…"

"Do you think your Mom is everywhere?"

"Yeah. I see my mom in everything, everyone, except for Mike and every other guy I've dated."

"Is your cancer gone?" Ross asks holding my hand so tight, my hand turns white;

"I had surgery, followed by intense chemotherapy and radiation."

We say nothing, we are pretty sure there is nothing to say;

"It was weird; like you know, I already know there is to know about the after life, I know everything in those respects; no questions. But whenever I went to the grocery store with a bandanna on my head, because I had lost all my hair from the radiation, I could tell everyone was staring at me; they said, "You think that lady has cancer." And then they'd smile at me, really strangely."

"But are you okay?" I ask, trying to imagine how horrible it would be lose all your hair.

"I can't play the guitar anymore."

And hearing this; Ross and I stand perfectly still; she is waiting for us to say something, but we can't.

"Something just happened after my treatments and my fingers didn't move that way anymore; I was ashamed. I thought I wouldn't come here. Then I remember you guys were my best friends, and I thought well, give the people who haven't called me in two years a chance." Phoebe says.

Her words cut me deep, and make think I'm a horrible person.

Later that night I look at the paintings in Phoebe's book, and I look at Phoebe (who was my best friend for so long) and look for the beauty in her and in them. I was being so shallow. It was obviously there. And then I am ashamed it took me so long to find it.

Phoebe came out into the living room where Rachel was, and sat down next to her

"Hey"

"Hey Pheebs" I respond quietly. Almost to tears " where's mike, shouldn't he be home from work yet? Its late"

Phoebe spoke "mike…………"

Author's note: PLEASE REVIEW, in detail. Thanks.

IT WOULD MAKE ROSSRACHMONCHAN AND CELIA RAY'S DAY!


	5. Growing Apart

Monica's POV  
  
"Pheebs where is Mike, he should be home from work by now its late" Rachel  
looked worried

"Mike well he... Rachel, Mike left me" Phoebe's tears welled in her eyes.

"What why?" Rachel was whispering, at a yell. I was worried for my friend  
because Phoebe was in love with Mike, and was going to have kids, 7 to be  
exact and be a 'soccer mom" I could tell Rachel wanted to know what was going on. I had known her just that long.

"Because of the cancer. Freaking cancer. The fact I can't have children anymore doesn't help either." 

"Oh Pheebs, that's terrible I knew Mike was a jerk the second I met him, how  
rude!" there was a silence and I guess Rachel decided it was smart to speak soothing words of wisdom; "You know Pheebs, you're better off without him, you're to good for  
him"

"That's the thing Rach! I love him! I want him, and need him, especially  
because and I can't deal with my problems on my own!"

" Phoebe, look at me...look at me, you will always have us okay. Now tell me  
what happened"

Before she tells the story she said;

"The only funny thing, which isn't funny at all is mike lied to the court  
and filed our divorce under irrencialable differences. And well this is what  
happened." She began telling her story, like a professional story teller;

_**MONTHS EARLIER-91/2 months earlier, omniscient   
**  
" Hi honey, how was your day"_

"Phoebe we need to talk"

"About what, oh kids! We can have 7 and be like the Vontrap family, like   
we've always wanted! Oh wait no, I can't have any." She remembered the truth, and was caught completely off guard;

"No, about our future"

"Mike, it's going to be okay." 

"It's too late Pheebs. I cannot deal with all this right now."

' Mike, sweetie, I know I'm a demented freak now, but we can work past that"

"No phoebe, I'm leaving you for another women" Mike says. 

_"I can't believe that." Says Phoebe. _

"_What did you always tell me?" _

"_I told you to do what's best for you, to find yourself, to never let me take away your identity. But, no Mike don't leave me! I need you now!"_

"Phoebe NO! Okay? You can deal with this on your own, I don't need your  
bourdon on my back"

" What mike when you married me you promised to stay in my sickness! And  
guess what I'm very sick!"

"Phoebe I want a divorce"

"No!"

"Yes."

" Fine you know what I don't need you, or anyone else, I can do this on my  
own! Now get out of my home, and I'll see you in court"

"I'll be glad to, I'll see you there"

**AT COURT- MIKE AND PHOEBE AND THERE WITH THEIR LAWYERS-9 months earlier, omniscient **

"So you, Mike Hannigan, you are divorcing Phoebe Buffay Hannigan under the  
claims of irreconcilable differences?" the judge asked eying Mike over the  
paper.

"Liar." Whispered Phoebe.

Mike watched her. _I'm going to hell, he thought._ He looked over at Phoebe.  
She was broken; there was no other way to put it. He looked over at the dead  
plants on the windowsill. And he looked at her, and though he is sure she  
does not realize it she skims her hand across her bare scalp.

"What did you say?" the judge asked, eying Phoebe and staring at her head  
and hairless brows at the same time.

"I said 'liar'." She lifts her nose in the air a little.

"Oh?" the judge asks.

"Phoebe I'm not lying." Mike whispers, and puts his hand on her knee, she  
slaps it lightly. _Don't touch me unless you love me,_ she thought.

"You promised to take me in sickness and in health, forever and ever until  
death do us part." She said.

"Yes," Mike was quivering, "I know."

"Only cheats go back in promises."

"Oh, come on Phoebe this is hard on me too."

"Yeah, uh-huh, I'm sure it is. You don't think it's hard on me."

"I know its hard Pheebs."

"Sure you do, you're not the one losing her hair that she has had all her  
life, and losing weight, and who sleeps all day and is sick all night."

"Phoebe." he reaches out to touch her hair, just before remembering it is  
no longer there.

"You're not strong." She says.

"I know I'm not."

"I am." She says forcedly.

Tears welled in Mike's eyes.

"Yeah, you are strong Phoebe."

"And even if I have to leave, I'm not scared. I know where the gods will  
take me."

"I am scared." Said Mike.

"And you're not the one who has to possibly face leaving everything she has ever  
known. I don't even know if I can see the sun Up There."

"Goodbye Phoebe." He kisses her on the top of her head and walks out of the  
court.

"I'm sorry ma'am." Says the judge "Would you like to take the papers?"

"Yeah, yeah I would." Phoebe says.

On her way out, Phoebe stopped by the typist who typed up everything she and  
Mike had said to each other.

"Miss Buffay," she says. Phoebe turns around and looks at the small dark  
haired, blue-eyed woman.

"Yes, Miss." Phoebe says. _This woman reminds me so much of Monica,_ Phoebe  
thought.

"Just so you know, I think you are an incredible woman."

"Thank you," says Phoebe. _Did I lie to Mike about being strong?_ _I think I  
did,_ She thought. No. Maybe not. Maybe she did have a little bit of strength  
left.

**  
END OF FLASHBACK**

I could tell Rachel had heard all she could hear, she was devastated and she had been  
through a kind of "divorce' years ago with the man she was now married to so   
Rachel knew how phoebe felt. And now it was obvious Rachel was more upset about the way she had acted earlier. _Poor Pheebs _she thought and then she spoke aloud, and  
apologizes; "Oh my god Phoebe, I'm so sorry"

Phoebe replies right away the truth and it was an instinct "Oh don't be  
sorry, I'll survive"

"Yes you will, and remember you'll always have all of us close by, now  
Pheebs, I have to go to bed, its late, I'm tired…and Ross is waiting, good  
night, see you in the morning"

"Night"

**ROSS AND RACHEL-IN THEIR BEDROOM  
**  
I could hear everything and see everything because the door was cracked open. Ross and Rachel were snuggling in bed, covered only by the sheet. Rachel was wearing simple light bur two-piece Pajamas and, Ross a white t shirt and   
"boxer pants", I knew what Rachel was thinking _ I better talk to Ross about what phoebe  
said._

"I think we should move back to New York." Rachel says.

"No, I have my job!"

"My god Ross, it's just a job you can get another one."

"It's much more complicated than that Rach."

"Oh, let me think here, what's more important friends or career? Haha?"

Rachel looked fiery angry, and she folded her clothes into the suitcase.

"Ross look at her, she's sick."

"There are a lot of sick people in this world. What has Phoebe done for us in the past five years?"

"What about the ten years before that?" she questioned. "Was your job there when you were torn apart by divorces and crumby relationships?" Go Rachel, I think.

"No."

"What has your job done for you Ross?"

"It helped me define myself."

"No. Ross. You need people to help you define yourself."

"I have you, Danielle and Emma."

"Ross, she has cancer."

"She'll be okay Rach, believe me. I love Phoebe too."

"If you loved Phoebe, we wouldn't be fighting now."

"She's all right alone."

"Phoebe can't drive anymore, she can't play guitar, she can't stand on her own two feet."

"Rach, she's the strongest person, I've ever known."

"Strength can die out. She's tired. And you have to stop putting yourself first."

"Rachel!" he screams "That is where you are wrong! I'm not putting myself first. I am putting our family first. We have a life in Chicago, we can't just up root the girls. And we need the money."

"And I need my friends. All six of them." Rachel said firmly.

"You've survived five whole years without them and her."

"I know Ross, but I guess you don't know how much of a good friend you have, until you realize that you could lose her, any moment of any day."

"Death can come at any moment."

"I know, but I just never thought it could happen to someone who I love." She said, and then threw the suitcase into the closet.

**EMMA & DANIELLE-Other guest room, that night **

When you sleep in the living room, and everyone forgets to shut their doors you can hear everything. I can listen in on Emma and Danielle in the guest room between Ross and Rachel's guest room, and I could hear everything.

"Would you quit looking at yourself in the mirror Emma?"

"Why?"

"You have become like all funny about your prettiness and stuff. Pass me the CD case please."

"Fine."

"Okay Danielle the reason I look in the mirror all the time, is because I want to make sure I look good"

Emma was a beautiful child, the exact image of Rachel.

"Why is this a bad thing?"

"Because you should act your age and your gender, like a lady," she lifts her nose in the air.

I think Emma and Danielle hear a bang against the wall, they sneak out of the bedroom, where Aunt Phoebe is sitting on the floor near the door. Her head was between her legs which were all bruised, and her green eyes were clouded over with round tears.

Phoebe stands up and comes into the room and says "You don't think I can stand on my own 2 feet anymore!"

**"**Oh my god" Rachel whispers.

Ross retorts "Phoebe we didn't mean it that way, its just..." Ross cut into Rachel's line; "Pheebs have you heard this whole conversation?" Rachel asked obviously concerned.

Ross says matter-of-factly "Phoebe you are ill, and you will need somebodys assistance, but not necessarily ours"

"Ross we are moving back to New York!"

"You two I do not need to be taken care of by a nurse, nor do I want to be!" Phoebe yells.

"Ross we are moving to New York to help Phoebe!"

"For the last time I don't need your help!"

Emma must of heard the yelling because she ran into the bedroom , slams the door, and yells "What is the matter with all you guys?"Danielle starts crying in the other room.

All the adults turned to see Emma standing at the entrance of the room, she  
had a beet red face, bags under her eyes, and she was shaking like a can of  
condensed whipped cream that was about to blow up. Emma needed to put some  
sense in the adult's minds, with out physically hurting them, or emotionally  
hurting Aunt Phoebe.

"Why can't you all agree on something in the morning? It's late and now  
Danielle is crying, all because of you and your actions!"

Ross demands "Emma go to your room now! This is none of your concern"

"Yes it is, we are in the other room!"

Rachel says "Emma don't lip your dad off like that!"

"Fine but one more thing, its not always what you want" and I knew Rachel believed that now more than ever.

The three of them were left in the bedroom, with a slam of the door once  
more, they were left in silence. No one spoke until phoebe let tears fall  
from her eyes, in sadness and anger  
"I hate you guys, especially you Ross!"

"Phoebe don't be silly" Ross retorts

"No I do hate the world and the world hates me, I shouldn't of even told you  
about my problem, Rachel"

"Why?" she whispering as for she was now crying

"I knew you would tell Ross, and you and your family shouldn't be here, I  
don't need you!"

"Phoebe I think Rachel and I need to be alone to figure things out, so now  
would be a good time to leave"

"What about phoebe? Shouldn't she be a part of this?"

"No, if Phoebe's ill she should get her sleep, Pheebs we'll talk to you in  
the morning"

"All right, night guys who have now ruined my life"

Phoebe left the room, more hurt with pain than she had ever had from her cancer, this was the pain of almost losing her 2 best friends, but she was still angry, and knew why, but wasn't sure if she had a reason good enough to act how she was acting at  
these moments in time.  
Phoebe saw on her walls the pictures that she painted of Gladas and some   
other girl; one of them came out of the picture frame. Phoebe thought;

"Do I really look like these pictures? Or is my imagination getting the  
better of me? Should I go on the trip to Vegas? And what will Joey of all  
people think?"

And then she thought some more; maybe it was true, maybe she lost everything. She could feel her friends and her growing apart. She had lost her hair, her beauty, her husband. That was done; and she couldn't undo that, but she could not let herself lose control, strength, or most of all identity.


End file.
